Here in the next 30(ish) days Matt and I will be moving from Winona up to the Twin Cities.   We'll be going somewhere in the vicinity of St. Paul/Eagan etc etc.. in that part of town.  (So of course feel free to look us up anytime after May) but.. I'm nervous.

I mean, I'm looking forward to it, I'm getting excited to move...but... it's going to be so different from what I've ever experienced - ever.  I know it's silly but I've been told that there's major differences between Small town Manners and Big City Manners.   Now i'm a small town girl, like major.  I'm use to knowing everyone around me, knowing their stories - chatting with them in the grocery line... you name it. 

Now I hear that up in the cities you don't do that.  You keep to yourself, you don't start up conversations in the grocery line, you don't look anyone in the eye (in fact you do your best to avoid it because that's "good manners") and you basically just... keep your own little bubble.

I don't like that idea! That's not me.  I'm not the girl who can walk by someone and not give a smile and say hello.  It's in my blood to want to be kind to everyone, to smile at anyone I can (you know, maybe brighten their day).   I start the conversations in the grocery line, or with the cashier - I'll give the cyclist on the side of the road the conciderate 3 feet of room when driving. I want to get to know strangers and say hi to their children, pet the puppy that they may be walking.   I like having people drive by the house and honk because they know you. 

I don't want to lose my small town self in a big city.  
I don't want to lose who I am.
And the idea that I'll be forced to conform to some standards that goes against everything i've ever been taught in my life - terrifies me.

What do I do?  

Well, I keep doing what I do.  I smile kindly at strangers, I say hi when passing by, I chat with people in the grocery line, and I try my best not to care if they look at me funny.

I HAVE been told that in the Twin Cities since we are still Midwest, that people aren't that cold hearted and closed off.  They'll still go out of their way to help someone, but they aren't all warm and fuzzy.  But damnit,  I LIKE warm and fuzzy. 

If I have to I'll buy a shirt that says "Warm and Fuzzy or bust!" or something...

I don't want to lose who I am just because i'm moving to a big city.  I want to be that Small Town girl who brightens people's day in the big city.
Sounds Cheesy?  You betcha.

*sighs*

So, it's 5:44pm, and I'm sitting at work. I'm looking at 3 monitors (because yes, i'm that cool.) and I have absolutely nothing to do.

Could I be creating something to do? Yes...
Am I technically doing something? Yes (I'm playing Bubble Breaker on my MC70)

Do I care enough to do something about it? No, just enough to say "eh, i'm bored.."
I work till 7, so I know i'm almost done but man... man oh man... *sigh*

I dunno. I had a dream last night that left me unsettled when I woke up, but as I try to grasp what it was - it's slipping away. How annoying.

I'm pondering cutting my hair - I know i've told myself and everyone "I love my hair long!" But, the more I think about it, the more I think someone could use it more than me. It's long enough that I could do Locks for Love (or Locks of..love.. whatever) and I know a lot of people who are cancer survivors and patients that would really appreciate it..

But *pets her hair* it's so long and pretty... I love it long...
But it feels like it's time for a change here soon... something feels like it needs to give.
And maybe I need a look change so I can change my personality up a bit.

Oh boy do I have a lot ot talk about on my personality.
I'm so freaking twisted... but I'll have to talk about that later, like actually sit down and talk about it...

Hmmm...

Ok, blah.